The Frat House and the Circuit Party
Alright, so I’ve just seen a gay porn. I was about to say, I’ve been watching porn, and lately the ones I’ve seen have disturbed me. Disturbed me by telling me something about me. The puritanical—and completely dishonest ideal—is that watching porn should disturb me in this first place. But who named it porn? And who called it wrong? Who said, “thou shalt not?”
You’ll say, “but you’ve been watching gay porn the whole time”. Ah, but there was a premise generally. These were ordinary guys. Yes, Sean Cody’s guys were more or less certainly gay, but there was that sort of Corbin Fisher fallacy of “we’re two men having sex in every way we can with other men, but we are not gay.” It filled the videos I’ve been watching. The guy who doesn’t know what he is, but has a deep need to experience another man’s touch. The first time, the faux amateur porn. It’s all so hot.
I suppose I was watching a circuit party, the ultimate in gayness, and that’s how I came to understand part of the draw to the myth of “straight men having sex with each other”. It’s part of the reason gay, an American word usually reserved for white men of a certain social—and I would even say geographic status—is so unappealing to a lot of young men who experience themselves as queer. Naked men and half naked men, dancing about, casually and mechanically throwing fucks out amidst dance music, flashing pink lights, oiled bodies. It wasn’t nearly as hot as the Corbin Fisher College students in the house—in the frat house? Why not?
The frat house and circuit party conjure up two images for queer men to seize upon. The frat house is the place of ultimately brotherly unity, of true masculinity where secret things the girls—or the uninitiated—don’t see. There is the idea of being let into some private secret rite in those videos and rite that is ultimately one of brotherhood. The frat house orgies describe not often so much incredibly hot as incredibly regular guys with desires that cannot leave the house, that are deep down, initiating each other into them. There is generally a great deal of warmth in affection amidst the hard fucking, the sort of team spirit you see on the football field taken to its extreme. Here all the frustrated desires men—queer and straight—have for affection with each other are fulfilled to the nth degree.
The circuit party conjures up the word gay. In the word gay are all the men who are sort of secondary, who can help a straight guy accessorize and who are fabulous, but in the end superfluous. I will use the word queer instead of gay because so many young men have the sense that once they accept it, and its connotations of tinted hair, meshed shirts and misspellings (boi, thanx, cum) they are no longer taken seriously. To be gay is generally to be unseen or seen in the most flamboyant of lights, but not seen seriously.
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